A Capitalist Brew

Just when you thought it was safe to get on the Internet, we’re back. Unfortunately, we are too busy and tired from our trip to write anything poignant or witty right now. Check back when normal brain functions return. I will say that the trip was good and that Brooke did extraordinarily well for 10-12 hours of travel each way to and from Pennsylvania. She had a fabulous time visiting with her grandparents, taking nature walks, playing in the bird bath, visiting an animal refuge, and going to an amusement park. Now it is back to work since I start teaching in two weeks and have much preparation left to do.

No Comments »

Tomorrow Brooke and I are flying north for the summer. We will be visiting my family in the fair state of Pennsylvania for a week. Comments about how we are adored and missed are welcome.

2 Comments »

Last weekend while we were in Jackson escaping the house drying chaos, Brooke was playing and got into some fire ants. For any non-Southern readers, fire ants are these ants that bite with venom like a bee or wasp would secrete. They also send out a signal to the rest of their posse to swarm in and join in the fun of biting their victim. We don’t have fire ants in NJ, so I am pleased to say I have never experienced the pain and itching first-hand. As you can imagine, Brooke screamed and was hysterical. Thanks to her daddy’s quick action, Brooke ended up with only six bites on her fingers, hand and arm. We watched her breathing that day like hawks and made sure she didn’t have any reaction to the bites. She was fine, and the marks are mostly gone now.

The scars to her psyche, however, are alive and well. Brooke is now afraid of dirt. Yes, dirt. More specifically, she is frightened by dark dirt that could in some way resemble an ant. She gets dark dirt on her, starts screaming, and runs towards me in hysteria with the dirty appendage out for me to examine. Then I have to wipe it off, examine the appendage, and reassure her that there are no ants and that she is fine. Today while playing on her slide I discovered that she is also afraid of bugs now. There was a ladybug on her slide, and Brooke started freaking out and crying.

So, what is a neurotic mother to do? The dirt thing seems irrational, but I can understand why she is behaving the way she is. Last weekend Brooke probably thought she was just playing in dirt until the dirt bit her back. In her toddler mind she probably believes that dirt can bite. I imagine that more experience will show her that dirt normally doesn’t bite. But I am not sure that I can convince her that bugs are not scary. I am okay with the ladybugs, but in general, I really hate bugs. You are talking about the girl who refuses to go to Arizona because they have scorpions. I am the girl who was so traumatized by the episode of the Brady Bunch where they go to Hawaii and have the tarantula in the bag that I will not stick my hand into any bag or dark space when I finally get to visit Hawaii. And let’s be honest, the South has some freakishly huge, frightening bugs! Brooke and I are ready to move back north and are willing to trade bugs for snow and ice. That makes two out of three, Scott.

1 Comment »

Today I would like to give a shout out to the capitalist machine for driving invention and innovation. For without that we might not have washable crayons. Yes, I would like to thank the fabulous imagineers (is that a Disney trademarked word?) at Crayola for making washable crayons. They are the greatest thing since the 64-pack of non-washable crayons. Why do I love them so? Because I have a 19 month-old daughter who loves to make the world a more beautiful place by adding a little color. She will not easily relinquish the crayon when she is done drawing on the paper because she feels like she must add her artistic flair to plain white computer cases, walls, windows, refrigerator, and the nice study chair I got from Pier 1 for Mother’s Day. The crayon has easily come off every surface with just a wet cloth. Thank you, Crayola, for inspiring my child to create…and then letting me wash it away at the end of the day.

No Comments »

My Finance 302 students for spring 2005 for making my day. In the fall semester I had some really harsh students who at times seemed to be going out of their way to make my life difficult. I was nervous since it was my first semester teaching, and they did not make it any easier or more enjoyable. One student had the audacity to write on my teaching evaluation that I was completely incompetent. Even though I knew this person must have some special issue with me and that everyone else had fairly good things to say about my performance, I hold a grudge like I come from an Italian mafia family. I never forget, and those words stuck with me through the whole semester.

Spring semester evaluations are back, and I got really high teaching effectiveness scores. Plus, my students all had really wonderful things to say about me. My teaching effectiveness scores were around 4.5 out of 5.0. Those are very good scores! They are so good that I got a letter from the Senior Associate Dean of the College of Business congratulating me on doing so well! So, I thank my spring semester students for making me feel like I have made the right career choice. Even more, I am glad that I really was able to help them get through a tough course.

Second, I would like to thank the carpet disaster recovery guys for drying out the house. New padding will arrive tomorrow, and the house should pretty much be back to its pre-flood state by the end of the day.

No Comments »

One of my readers pointed out that being naked did grant those bikers a lot of media attention that they may not have otherwise received. While I did think of that and want to acknowledge the validity of that statement, I must also point out that I am not sure the attention they received is going to have a positive impact with mainstream society. And I also agree that I have no desire to ride a bike naked…I hear the chafing from spinning class is bad enough wearing shorts.

And although I really did not want to give these naked bike riders another day of attention and discussion, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to talk about a group of bikers who I do support. The cause is something close to my heart. My grandfather fought in World War II, and many of my friends from Army ROTC have been serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. The heroes of the armed services and their families sacrifice every day to keep us safe and free each and every day.

Soldier Ride was formed by a group of people from East Hampton, New York who came together to show their support towards the members of our armed forces who have sacrificed so much for us. In 2004 one of the members, Chris Carney, cycled across America to raise money and awareness for The Wounded Warrior Project, a nonprofit organization, founded by John Melia, a former US Marine who was injured in a helicopter crash in 1992, to assist the new generation of severely injured servicemen and women. Together, Soldier Ride and the Wounded Warrior Project have reached thousands of wounded servicemen and women, providing comfort items, counseling, and rehabilitation to aid in the transition from a hospital bed to an independent life at home. Thank you to everyone involved in these wonderful organizations and to all the people who have it in their hearts to donate to the cause.

No Comments »

Have any of you seen anything about the World Naked Bike Ride that took place this weekend? Perhaps you were lucky enough to live in one of the 50 cities worldwide where people were participating? I saw some footage on TV this afternoon and had to read more because the whole premise did not make any sense to me. These people who were interviewed said that they were riding naked on their bikes to protest global oil dependence. I am all for finding alternative energy sources and can understand why you would want to have a bike ride to raise awareness for such an issue. But a naked bike ride? Do they really think that baring their butts, boobs, schlongs, etc. is helping their cause? I don’t see where they tie in being naked with oil. Maybe I am missing something, but I think the naked only hurts their cause. Most people would respond well to an intelligent, clear, concise, and rational explanation of why energy conservation and alternative energy sources are important. Being naked does not do that. It just makes you look like a bunch of lefty whackos. Naked Bike Riders, next time do your cause some justice and leave your clothes on.

If anyone was wondering, we did not take a family biking trip this weekend. We did go to visit Scott’s family in Jackson, MS. On Friday our house got some new tenants, otherwise known as industrial fans and a huge commercial dehumidifier. The house was loud, dusty, hot, and really not inhabitable. Today all the equipment got moved into our bedroom leaving the rest of the house in good enough shape for us to live here. We still have carpet pulled up and furniture moved everywhere, but at least we are home and can attempt to resume a normal, dry life. I must also mention that I was glad to be in Jackson so that we missed the rain. Arlene dumped around 2-2.5 inches of rain in Tuscaloosa, and I am not sure I could have taken the drenching.

1 Comment »

I know it has only been a day, but I am so over dealing with everything being wet. And so in a divine comedy of sorts, it poured rain for an hour this afternoon and the weather forecasts are calling for tropical storm Arlene to make landfall in Alabama on Saturday. Neither of these events are particularly unusual for Alabama in June, but they feel particularly cruel right now. When I took a load of fresh laundry out of the dryer this morning I proclaimed “ahhh….dry”. I wish I could fit the whole house into the dryer and get that warm snuggly feeling to replace the wet…and the stench. Yes, an odorific must has begun to take hold of the house. Fabulous. I know that in the grand scheme of things our water troubles are minor. I am aware that some people have entire homes and lives wiped away by rushing flood waters every year. I realize that we got through this disaster relatively unscathed, but for now it is the main source of drama in our lives and thus I share it with you.

In totally unrelated news, today a friend’s daughter had her elbow dislocated while playing with her daddy. She is fine now, so it is not like the actions I am about to describe are callous. Upon reading the story from my friend, I promptly share the story with S with proud vindication.

K: E was playing “climb up me” with her daddy, and he dislocated her elbow
S: That must have hurt
K: See, I told you that I am not crazy. You really could dislocate B’s arm.
S: Are you sure about all of that?
K: Okay, maybe I am crazy, but I was still right about the arm dislocating stuff

I feel like people have been questioning my sanity a lot lately. Does that mean that perhaps they should not entrust me with the education of college minds this summer? Or does that mean I am of perfect mind to be a professor? I finished my first class syllabus today, and it was pretty exciting to devise my own unique methods of torturing these kids. Crazy? Just make sure my padded cell is dry, okay?

2 Comments »

So, my husband S has been away in Chicago since Sunday at a web hosting conference. I have been managing a fearless firebolt of a toddler and a large, cranky doberman all on my own as well as bearing a greater burden in the daily happenings of the web hosting company. I was doing okay with everything but was very ready for S to come home to lend a hand so that I could have a little weight lifted off my shoulders. We left this morning at 9:15 to pick up S at the Birmingham airport. Everything was going smoothly, we stopped for lunch, we stopped for a few minutes at a small outlet center, and we finally arrived back home around 1:45 or 2.

I walk into the house and hear a strange swooshing sound. I stop for a minute and try to figure out what could be the source of the sound. Unable to determine its origin, I follow it into my bedroom and suddenly discover the source. I run out to the car screaming for S to get inside because a hose/pipe has become disconnected from the toilet and has flooded the house (with clean water though)! The water had soaked into the carpet throughout our bedroom and closet and was puddling above the carpet. The water went through the wall into B’s bathroom and sat in a pool about an inch high in her bathroom. The water also was working on soaking into the carpet in B’s closet and halfway through her bedroom as well as halfway into the living room. Luckily, our landlord promptly sent someone out to clean it up…he was here in less than 30 minutes after we called!

Our savior from the flooding (who I shall kindly refer to as Noah) said that even he was shocked at how much water there was flooding the house. He said he removed 40 gallons just from our bedroom and bathroom and probably a total of 60 gallons in the entire house! So, if you suddenly here of a water shortage in Alabama, it may not be crazy for eyeballs to roll in our direction.

Noah got as much water out of the house as possible and left us with one industrial fan to help dry out the carpets. He said that since we got it cleaned up so quickly that we should not have any major problems, though he did mention a stench as well as mold and mildew. Noah said he would be back to put something on the carpet later in the week to help with the smell and would see how everything was doing at that time. I am not sure how some smelly powder is really going to help with the mold and mildew though, and since I have a mold allergy and a toddler I am a little worried about the notion of things growing in the carpet. Thankfully, the damage to our property seems to be minimal at this point. I am hoping that the only big item that will not survive is a cheap dresser I got in 1998 straight out of college. It lives in our closet, and I am fine with its demise. I am not fine with anything happening to our bed frame or main dresser. Bella’s beds will probably need to be replaced, but they are old anyway. The only initial casualty that really had me upset was a handmade book from my friend George. It was a wedding present, and I intend to make a special scrapbook in it one day. But thanfully only its box got wet and the precious book survived. Hopefully my sanity will return if I can somehow manage a good night’s sleep in the guest bed or the humid rainforest that is now our bedroom.

No Comments »

You may or may not know that I was born and raised in New Jersey. I love being from New Jersey. I love all the funny mental references that the words “New Jersey” bring to people’s minds. I love that NJ is the state of diners, bagels, Dunkin Donuts, big hair, the shore, Turnpike exits, and the real and mythical Sopranos characters. I also love the reaction I get when people (especially people in the South) learn that I am from NJ. It is like they stop for a second and suddenly all their questions about me make sense.

So, I was particularly amused when I found this article online today.NJ Billboard Calls State ‘Horrible’ Apparently, there is a small real estate developer who put up the billboard after the DEP (Department of Environmental Protection) denied his petition to build a truck stop on some wetlands. In retaliation the developer put up a billboard near the Delaware Memorial Bridge that says “Welcome to New Jersey. A horrible place to do business.” Somehow I think the DEP is not all that concerned with the sentiment and more concerned with whether or not the billboard is causing environmental damage with its paper, chemicals, and big concrete posts. But the whole story really struck me as funny because most people probably read the sign and agree that NJ is horrible. Only a true NJ would see the sign, appreciate its humor, and then probably flip off the billboard. Gotta love it.

And since Jersey girls are known for their big hair, this story gave me my own hair brained scheme. Armstrong Threatens to Sue Ohio Barber. Evidently Neil Armstrong’s barber stashed some of his hair and sold it to a collector for $3000. That, my friends, is the very core of capitalism. And it was pretty smart and funny too! Neil Armstrong, however, somehow found out about the sale and demanded to have the $3000 donated to a charity of his choice. That, my friends, is the American legal system at work. And evidently these actions were illegal because selling the hair off the barber shop floor violated Neil Armstrong’s rights as a famous person? Surely now Neil Armstrong will have to find a new barber and have him sign a contract prohibiting the sale of his scrap hair off the floor. But this gave me an idea. Is there such a law in California? If not, perhaps I should look into getting a job sweeping hair at some swanky salon catering to a celebrity clientele. I am certain that right now I could get a pretty penny for a chunk of Katie Holmes’ hair on Ebay, don’t you think? I could have those pesky credit card bills paid off in no time! Or do you think that people who sweep hair at swanky salons have to sign a contract prohibiting one from otherwise profiting from employment at said salon?

1 Comment »